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The Joe and Methos Show
Episode 1

JinxoLAL and Jen X present….
The Joe and Methos Show!!!

“Hi, I’m Joe. I’m a Watcher. I observe and record, but I can never interfere… well, actually, I’m not supposed to, but I do anyway. I can’t help it! See, I had this friend – his name was Mac – and –“

“And what? Joe, how much are you going to tell them? Are they authorized to know this kind of information? What does the Watcher Tribunal think of all this? Do they know you’re divulging secrets?”

“But Me- Adam – whatever you’re calling yourself these days – they know I divulge secrets! That’s my job!”

“Funny, I always thought it was that ‘observe and record’ business. You could’ve fooled me.”

“Well, anyway, I had a friend named Mac. And he was a very interesting guy. See, he was an Imm-“

“Joe!!! Are you daft?! You’re not supposed to be telling them this!”

“Why not?”


“Because why?”

“This is so immature. I’m too old for this nonsense.”

“Nonsense? Excuse me, who was the one that thought Tom Jones popularized the Twist?!”

“Oh, shut up!! That’s not important. Who is Chubby Checker –“

“You said that already.”


“My friend Mac – the Immortal – “


“He was four hundred years old when I met him, and –“


“He was busy with this Game – the one that –“

“This is bordering on treason.”

“All the Immortals are in, and they have to cut off –“

“Joe, stop it! Do you know what you’re doing??”

“Each other’s heads so that –“

“Hello!!!! Do you hear me?? Joe?? Mr. Dawson – stop it this instant! You’re divulging highly sensitive information! You’re jeopardizing the entire program!!”

“They could get each other’s Quickening, which is –“

“I give up. The man’s gone completely mad. He’s lost his marbles.”

“The essence of what makes them –“

“You know, the lights are on, but no one’s home.”

“Immortal. Otherwise they don’t –“

“He’s not playing with a full deck.”

“Age or die after their first –“

“I think he’s got a screw loose somewhere up there.”

“Death, and from then on –“

“He’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic.”

“I’m a few sandwiches short of a picnic? Where on Earth did you come up with that one, Methos?!”

“JOE!!!!!!!!!! That’s it, now you’ve done it! Thanks a lot! You do know what this means, don’t you?”

“What? What’s the problem?”

“Now I’m going to have to kill you and them! This is so irritating – do you know how long it’s going to take me to track every single one of them down and kill them? And all before the Watchers get word of this? Joe!!”

“What? What’d I do? Did I do something wrong?”

“I just can’t believe you!!”

“Wait! Methos!! Adam!! Come back!”

“Fine. He can just leave – I don’t care. Hey, you wanna listen to me play my guitar?”

The End

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